Vanshira

i wrote my first suicide letter in 10th grade. they told me it didn't count if you felt like dying unless you had it down on paper like a vetoed birth certificate. i've rewritten it enough times since to realize i could never leave with a proper goodbye. goodbye is too heavy a word for paper to hold and i was never brave enough for the kind of courage it takes to tell them why. why they weren't enough to keep me here. but i'm finally learning a different kind of bravery- the kind it takes to stay. stay. i learned to wear death like rope burn my junior year my senior year we became friends but i finally stopped cutting the insides of wrist